The feelings of anticipation for CO and sorrow for leaving IA didn't seem to bounce back in forth in my head but rather co-exist in a way as to create a new sorropation emotion. Despite telling people that I was extremely excited for coming to DLA I didn't honestly know how I felt until I got out here and met the people. I know this is where I need to be and where God wants me to be. It's not a question of whether or not I should be here, but a question of how can I use this to glorify God. These next 8 months will be in full, complete, unwavering, unstoppable, unflinching, desperate dedication to God. I desire to know Him on the deepest level and my life must revolve around Him for it to be fruitful. My focus is Him alone and creating habits that will keep my life ignited for Jesus. Consistent and unconditional prayer, immersing myself in the scripture daily, worshiping the Savior with a enthusiastic and teachable heart, and simply disciplining my body.
For my life to be focused on Jesus I will need to solely rely on Him and give everything I have to Him. So understand that I will be limiting myself from extended communication with everyone that I love so much back in IA. It would be too easy to fall back and rely on my friends and not God. I must place him at the center and with Him at the center my life, my friends, my relationships, my wife, my kids, my everything, I will prosper for His glory.
It's funny but for this season of my life I desire to struggle. I long to be pushed to my limits emotionally, physically, and most of all spiritually. God must must must be my single source of peace and strength. And for that to happen, for me to fully and completely rely on God, I have to be pushed past the point where no one but God Himself can help me. I desire this and I know in my heart that God desires to see me grow in Him. I need to shed this pride and rip off this outer coating of my heart for Jesus to reign unmatched. This will be one of the hardest times I will ever face and I will struggle and yearn for rest. But it is so necessary that I be here, right here, right now. It's good.
"While we are looking at God, we do not see ourselves--blessed riddance" -Pursuit of God
Everything we are doing here is everything that is on my heart. Jesus is coursing throughout this place and these people. I have never made friends so easily, and already found a person that will most likely be my best friend and is basically me. I'm happy to say that I am looking forward to this year more and more as time goes by.
I will be praying for all you iowans and love you all so much. Please keep me in your prayers cause I will need all the prayer I can get. Please don't pray that my struggles will be easy, pray that they will be tough and God will be faithful to see me through. Miss you all already.
"Jesus you are awesome! I thank you so much for this amazing opportunity to get to know you better and grow with your help. Build in me a desire for your name, a desire to pursue you in every aspect of my life both great and small. Live your life through me so that I can advance your kingdom and be souled out to you. Bless these eight months that I get to live in Colorado, reveal to me who you are, show me the meaning your love, bring me to your throne in awe of you daily. Lord I pray that you bless des moines fellowship, continue to reign in that church as you have so abundantly already. Break down walls, let them openly worship and pray and live for you without fear of what others might be thinking. Bring joy to their hearts and bring them all closer as a church family. Let none be left alone. I pray that there will be struggle and we will look to you as our solitary source of hope, understanding you will finish what you have started. I love you so much and can't thank you enough for this life you have given me. We lay this at your throne, Amen."